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  1. You want to weigh yourself after every big poo, just in case it’s a 2 pounder.
  2. The best time to step on the scales is after your morning wee and butt naked.
  3. You want to weight yourself once a week, but reality is several times a day.
  4. What the scales says can completely alter your mood.
  5. You get excited to see a new kind of scales on the market, but fear buying an expensive set will reveal how obsessed you are.
  6. Sometimes you hide your scales to stop yourself jumping on them, but you soon get them out again.
  7. Sometimes you ask someone else to hide the scales for you, then you lose your sh*t when you want them back and they won’t give in.
  8. You could talk about weight and scale fluctuations all day, every day. “One time I put on 10lbs in a day, but the next morning I was a 1lb down! Crazy”.
  9. If the number on the scales goes up your first thought is water retention or a big poo in your system, it’s hard to admit that maybe the curry and booze the night before had anything to do with the increase.
  10. When you’re in the zone you love that feeling of jumping on the scales and seeing the number go down.
  11. But the best feeling is seeing that number go down into a new stone.
  12. You stand up straight and hold your stomach in when you weigh yourself, just in case there’s some air trapped in there that might add a lb or two.
  13. If you’re not happy with the number you see, you weigh yourself again – best out of 3 eh?
  14. When you know you’ve been unhealthy you cross your fingers and pray to the scales god, before stepping on to see the damage – or if you’ve been lucky enough to get away with it.
  15. You take your Fitbit off or anything else that might weigh you down, like a hairband, before accepting the final number.
  16. You pray for the poo fairy to visit you before your ‘official’, weekly weigh in.
  17. You move the scales around the floor to find that sweet spot for success where the number is lowest – take that uneven floors.

 

Images courtesy of giphy.com and pixabay. 

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